50#

DSS. first time in  my life,aku rasa kosong. otak kosong,minda kosong,hati kosong,tapi perut tak kosong yea. pernah rasa 'you hve done nothing in the world?' tak menyumbang papepon tuk this society,this earth,i mean the big ones. kalau menyumbang kepada kebersihan alam tu ada la buat kenkadang.

i think this is not the first time i feel like this. im bored with my current life. nak tau sebab apa. sebab obviously,i've no passion in everythings and anything. maybe some teen ada hobi drawing,sketching,playing instruments,singing,what else,.drill basketball o any sports,photographing,shopping yadda,yaddaaa...

i dont have any of 'em. sadis kan. no hobby o hobbies. no passion in something. imma dull girl. never wanting to go out of the box . no i want to. tapi takde tiang yang menyokong kot. i wanna do something serious,something that bring no bore to me,something yang buat aku excited doing it,something yang buat aku rasa tak nak berhenti,something yang akan buat aku rasa puas. ha-ha. kill me if im so exaggerating.

during this period,i mean my lifespan, aku asyik-asyik buang masa dengan buku teks,novels,tv. takde benda lain dah selain tiga tu. okey, nak kata aku asyik dengan buku teks pon tak ley kata gak sebab kalau aku ngadap buku teks ol the time,mesti aku dah dapat straight A's waktu spm dulu. yeah,tapi aku akui aku dah banyak buang masa remaja aku dengan buat benda benda yang tak bermanfaat. sangat merugikan. orang kata zaman remaja ni adalah zaman paling happening. pernah dengar tak phrase ni

" do mistakes,then you'll learn from the mistakes."

im in my safe zone. afraid to come out from the box. i call others a chicken but the real chicken is myself. DSS. aku tamau hanya pandai hadap buku,mamah segala ilmu dalam buku but praktikal nya aku tak belajar dari ilmu yang aku dapat. aku tamau buat major study buku in life. aku nak buat something else. such as drawing ke,< ouch,i think i aint that talented >. but, one people has said to me,indirectly,,'you've talent in drawing if and only if you keep practising' pernah dengar tak kalau bakat tak diasah,lama-lama ia akan tumpul dan hilang. it happened to me. and now, im giving up in the area. figure something else athe. but what. you dont even have talent in others especially sports. ha-ha. laughing hardly in no sense of humour.

dear soul sister. i haven't figure out what can i do,what is my talent,what i really love to do. when will i manage to figure it out,i really dont know. tapi, try to think macam mana aku nak tahu kalau aku tak carik dan usaha kan. like papa said. all 'bout usaha dan tawakal.

ngantok siot la pulak DSS . nanti pulak eh. DAA~~